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I came, I saw, I cheesed

October 28, 2004


This is the first time I brought Parmie back to Sban, and she (hmm… he? It? Shim? Okay nevermind, she then) is very excited!

But something was wrong with me. I kept seeing carcasses!

To be precise, I THINK I saw carcasses. Black little bird carcasses, along the road. I almost swore I saw more than 9 dead birds, 5 on the way to cyberjaya, and 4 (or more, im not sure) on the way back Sban. It was weird. There were unusual whopping flocks of birds today, along the highway, from the cyberjaya exit. And the way they flew off was weird.

But the carcasses…

Bird massacre? Heck no, who would have done that?

I think I was just being too tired. You know. It’s just illusion. I have journalism essay due Monday, advertising campaign and 10 ads analysis due Tuesday, A.L.L’s policy assignment due Thursday. I must be too tired. And sleepy. I woke up 4:30am in the morning and could hardly sleep. Oh wait… 4:30am again?

Hey… something must be wrong. I must have been pre-programmed in such a way to perform certain significant task. What did I do? I have no sleep-walking habit. But wait, I might have other sleep-X-ing patterns. Say, sleep-cheesing?

No couldn’t be. I don’t see my smoked cheese slices go mysteriously missing in the fridge.

Then what’s wrong with me? Oh no… could it be.. Schizophrenia?

Statistics by international psychiatric bodies state that one per cent of every country has schizophrenia. It means, yiah, 250,000 Malaysians would have it.

Lucky me! Merry Christmas!

The symptoms include hallucinations, delusions, blunting of emotions, difficulty in concentrating or getting thoughts together.

Is that why I cant finish my assignments on time?

They often hear voices.

Cheeses, what’s with the CW2S and ACW2S conversations?

They become very argumentative because they are unable to focus on a man point of a statement. Instead, they pick on other insignificant facts because their thoughts are crowded.

But my cheese theories do make sense don’t they??

They might see small things appear as big as a house or big things like a house appear smaller than them.

So the bird carcasses were actually black sesames? But what are black sesames doing on the high way??

Okay, now I hear you say “Cheesie, go have some rest. You are stressed.”

Guess what?
Schizophrenia is not caused by stress. Stress just makes it worse.

But don’t worry.

Schizophrenia doesn’t make a person stupid.

Thank cheeses.

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