What is a promise?

Sunny-side-down


I think he’s sick in the mind. I already compromised, decided to forgive and stay on, but the nightmare seems never ending. And apparently, he IS the one who intentionally wants to create issues so that I can’t enjoy the peace of mind. So that I can continue to hold on my paranoia and hackophobia and go cheesed one day. I’m having a pitched battle with him and myself. I really think he’s sick. And I’m gonna be, too.

He said everything would be fine from then on, the day I almost packed my stuffs and left. He promised I will have the freedom I deserve, the rights I am entitled to. But cheeses. I’m still very much a bird in a cage, whose life other will deem peachy but in fact painfully miserable. From the day of Trojanization I knew things are not going to be right. All promises just seem to good to be true.

Weird things are happening and I cant seem to have good explanations why they are happening—to ME to be precise. Let’s just forget about my computer being hacked, my messenger being signed off automatically in the middle, my mails being read and deleted (but not before I so happened to discover the dirty deed, sorry but too late). Now what? My web connection is down. And don’t tell me Mozzarelly’s mystical appearance on YM when she was obviously offline and off-the-computer has anything to do with him.



This is what i saw when i was talking to her over the phone, and she insisted she was OFFLINE.

I hate ( I really mean HATE!) the fact that everytime I have to personally soil my hand, going through a series of unnecessary investigation only to find out the otherwise truth.

Why do I have to call Maxis to enquire about my mysteriously rejected sim card only to discover that someone had called earlier to get my PUK code so that he could reactivate the already blocked (due to his unsuccessful attempts to steal my password) sim card????? And why do I again have to call Timecell to clear my doubts about the fugglily defective Webbit device which prevented me from updating my blog for a week, only to discover that someone has again called earlier to block my internet access so that I will have nothing else to do but sit back home and die????????????

If I hadn’t called, I would continue believing that technology these days are so canggihful that some im-so-f*cking-free-i’ve-nothing-else-to-do-but-hack-your-handphone people can remotely change my handphone pin number, and that such a big company like Timecell is so blurdie inefficient they have to take a week to upgrade their f%cking hardware.

What is a promise? Is it something that you can break it like how you break an egg when you feel like having a sunny-side-up? And things are just not sunny but gloomy. Sooner or later I’m gonna practice deep meditation to keep myself sane just for a moment longer. (Eating more variety of cheese or saying fromage prayer just will not help now, unfortunately.)

I thought my patience was already good enough. Seems like I will have to endure more “suprises” thrown at me in the future. And also I need to train myself to have a sober mind when dealing with these “surprises”. Great. Hope that will help me achieve the Ultimate Cheesedom sooner.

But then again, anything has its limit. So does my patience. Sometimes enough is enough.