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I came, I saw, I cheesed

October 09, 2005

Cheese FM

I really didn't know DJ'ing is so damn tough. Today was the first ever time i actually spoke to the entire campus thru a mic, together with Mozzie in a super duper stinky tiny radio room. Though i wonder if anyone actually listened to the Campus News. And the room really stinks like chicken poo!

The funniest thing is, our "producer", Wani, who was supposed to supervise the entire broadcast, wasn't here. And the reporter who was incharged of the most important global and local current affairs, wasnt here too. So we had to proceed with only the sports, entertainment and campus news. We stumbled several times during the broadcast but overall it wasn't a disaster.

Anyway, that news broadcast was like, less then 10 mins. Now we have to come out with a one-hour-long radio program of our choice. ON AIR.

WTC i don't really fancy the idea of the whole campus listening to my retarded "err"s and "ummm"s. For Cheese's cake i just can't do ad-lib. So me and Mozzie decided to come up with the entire script. Hopefully that will help. And we will try our best to pretend we're actually NOT reading.


Since we've spent so much efford on it, i decided it is worth publicity on my Cheeserland. Now you can imagine the Cheese Master and her loyal secretary putting on the Emmentaler headsets speaking through Cheddar microphones in a Limburger-smelling radio room. Here's what we've come up with. Thanx mozzie esp for the Nemo's and Shrek's part. You are a cheesenius. Have fun.

Ringo: Good afternoon, you’re listening to cheese fm. I’m Ringo.

Chingy: And I’m Chingy. So Ringo, what’s the menu for the “Movie Buzz” this week?

Ringo: Oh, we’re having some fun stuff.

Chingy: Fun stuff?

Ringo: Uh huh. Like monsters that collect screams, fish that talks and OGRES.

Chingy: Lemmi guess. You are talking about… Animation?

Ringo: Yep animation that’s right.

Chingy: Oh. Talk about animation, first thing that comes to my mind is Disney. What’s your favorite Disney movie so far Ringo?

Lilo and Stitch

Ringo: Lilo and Stitch!

Chingy: What fascinates you? Is it because of of Elvis Presley?

Ringo: Noooo. Because of Lilo! I love the way she speaks.

Chingy: Ok then. What’s your favorite line in Lilo and Stitch?

Ringo: It's sandwich day. Every Thursday I take Pudge the fish a peanut butter sandwich... And today we were out of peanut butter. So I asked my sister what to give him, and she said "a tuna sandwich". I can't give Pudge tuna. [whispering] Do you know what tuna IS? [hysterical] It's fish!!!! If I gave Pudge tuna, I'd be an abomination. I'm late because I had to go to the store and get peanut butter 'cause all we have is... is... Stinkin' tuna.

Chingy: (surprised) You ACTUALLY MEMORIZED the script?!? I was only asking about your favorite line!

Ringo: Nah.. just a part of it. Chingy you haven’t heard nothing yet. I have this cousin who can memorize the WHOLE movie script of Lilo and Stitch and I kid you not. She watches the vcd like, 10 times a day. Okay, maybe five.

Chingy: Serious? Maybe you should enter her in Guinness. Alright, while Ringo decides on that, let’s listen to the Lilo And Stitch theme song, Cant Help Falling in Love.

(play song)


Chingy: That was Cant Help Falling in Love by A-teens. Have you seen the MTV for that song? It was awesome. There were so many cute scenes of Stitch! You know, I found in Disney’s website that Stitch’s blabber actually mean something.

Ringo: They do? I thought he only had the word OBANGAAA in his vocab. Ok Chingy, show me how Stitch speaks.

Chingy: (Demonstrates Stitch speeches) Believe me, he probably has more vocab than cheese names! You know what achi-babba means?

Ringo: Erm, the daddy is sneezing?


Chingy: Of course not, you silly. It means friends. Like ohana in Hawaiian means family. And family means nobody gets left behind or forgotten, which brings me to Finding Nemo. Nemo is the only family Marlin has. And to think a clown fish like him actually fought with sharks only to learn that his son is stuck in an aquarium. That was so heart-warming.

Ringo: Speaking of Nemo, I found out this cute restaurant called Glitter in One Utama, just right beside GSC cinema that has the cutest menu.

Chingy: I’ve heard. They had this sandwich in a really small…..

Ringo: Sandwich? It’s sandwich day….

Chingy: Here we go again... (Ringo finishes her sandwich routine) Thank you for that kind demonstration Ringo. Hey, you are obsessed with Lilo aren’t you?

Ringo: Absoluely. I don’t see no point why one wouldn’t like her. She’s cute, adorable, funny, witty, hilarious….

Chingy, Ok enough. Ahem! We were talking about the restaurant.

Ringo: Hehe… So anyway, Glitter has this very unique menu. They actually named a salmon pie Nemo’s choice, and there’s this other dish called Dory in Love. Cute huh?

Chingy: What’s Dory In Love then?

Ringo: Oh, that’s actually crispy calamari rings with prawn rolls and tempura black pepper white fish. And it is absolutely yummy!

Chingy: Okay, okay, you’ve made your point. Now, before you flood the radio room with drool, I think we better move on. Ladies and gentlemen of campus, we have the Finding Nemo soundtrack for you. Enjoy!

(plays song – beyond the sea, Robbie Williams)

Chingy: And that was Beyond the Sea, by Robbie Williams.

Ringo: Okay, Chingy. Let’s have a trivia to see if you can remember some of the scenes in Finding Nemo. What name was Nemo given when he joined the aquarium?

Chingy: Oh! Oh! I know this one! It’s uhm….. Sharkbait!!

Ringo: And a genius you are! This is how the tank fish called him, it’s hilarious, I tell you.

(plays sharkbait oohaha clip)

Chingy: It’s now time to prove your knowledge on Finding Nemo. Can you tell me one memorable quote from Finding Nemo?

Ringo: Remember how Dory keeps saying P Sherman 42 Wallaby Way Sydney? She kept chanting that over and over again.

Chingy: I have another quote. Remember when Nemo was introduced to the turtles at The Turtle Lope? This really old grandpa turtle said this. “Jellyman, Offspring, Offspring, Jellyman”. That was so cool.

Ringo: (interrupts) Dude. He said dude every other sentence

Chingy: Very well, let’s see if you can remember something else from the movie. What song did Dory sing that made Marlin get annoyed?

Ringo: Ahah!!! I knew you would ask this question. I even have the answer ready!

(plays just keep swimming audio clip)

Chingy: You know me all too well.

Shrek & Shrek 2
Ringo: Friends have to know each other well, don’t they? Just like Shrek and Donkey.

Chingy: Did you watch both Shrek and Shrek 2?

Ringo: Yes I did, but the only thing I remember is Farbucks.

Chingy: I don’t quite remember what happened in the first Shrek, but it ended with Shrek marrying Princess Fiona. So the second one is all about their marriage problems.

Ringo: I absolutely love the ending, where Donkey’s kids appeared. Half donkey, half Dragon!! They were so cute. I wanna pinch their cheeks…!!!

Chingy: Ringo, they’re animated, for cheese cake.

Ringo: Oh well, I always had a tendency of falling for cartoon characters anyway. I wish there was a potion to stop me from all these delusional love for animated movie characters.

Chingy: Maybe you can ask your Fairy Godmother to help. In Shrek 2, the fairy godmother even has a business card. Happiness is only a tear away. Have you got any idea how many different potions there are in her potion factory?

Ringo: Not funny, Chingy. Shrek 2 sort of tarnishes the image of fairy godmothers as we know it. Somehow, I think Shrek 2’s incorporation of fairy tales is very twisted. Prince Charming turned out to be a hoax and Fairy Godmother is evil. I mean, isn’t it not so suitable for kids anymore?

Chingy: Different people have different opinions I suppose. I think it was hilarious, especially the part where the fairy godmother announced all the princesses in the fairytales that the reason they live happily ever after is because there were no ogres in the story.

Ringo: Okay, that aside. I have to admit that I actually found Donkey annoying. Unlike a lot of people who says Donkey is their favorite character. Don’t you find Donkey annoying too?

Chingy: Uhm… Donkey’s a… hmm….

Ringo: What are you trying to say?

Chingy: (quickly) Donkey’s my favorite character.

Ringo: Say that again. Slow and steady.

Chingy: Donkey’s my favorite character.

Ringo: No kidding. Donkey’s YOUR favorite character too?!!

Chingy: He’s funny! And I like Eddie Murphy. His voice makes Donkey sound funny.

Ringo: Bummer. I’m a lone ranger. Maybe I’m the only one in the world who hates Donkey. He never stops talking!!

Chingy: (mouth pops) He did stop for a few seconds. Remember the trip to Far, Far Away Kingdom? Fiona and Shrek told him to shut up and he did, then he did this (mouth pop). That was so funny.

Ringo: Annoying.

Chingy: Funny.

Ringo: Annoying.

Chingy: Funny.

Ringo: Annoying.

Chingy: Funny.

Ringo: Annoying!!!

Chingy: This can go on forever. I give up. Let’s listen to All Star by Smash Mouth from the first Shrek to calm down, shall we?

Ringo: Very well. I’ll be nice. But we have to have Accidentally in Love as well.

(play song Smash Mouth – All Star)

Chingy: Okay, okay. Anything for little miss cheesy.

(after all star ends, accidentally in love plays)


Spirited Away
Ringo: And that was All Star by Smash Mouth, followed by Accidentally in Love by Counting Crows.

Chingy: So far we’ve been only talking about the Disney and Pixar’s animations. Don’t we have something different? I’m sure there’re some interesting non-Disney animations that we’ve missed out.

Ringo: I know one. And it has won an Oscar! (imitates Lilo) Do you know what an Oscar is? Is… fish!

Chingy: (annoyed) Oh shut up. Anyway, Ringo is talking about Spirited Away. It has won the Best Animated Feature Oscar 2003. Other than that, it also has another 31 wins and 17 nominatios.

Ringo: Yes, Spirited Away it is, or in Japanese, Sen to Chihiro no Kamikakushi, by director Hayao Miyazaki. Actually Chingy, do you know what does Spirited Away mean?

Chingy: Do tell.

Ringo: The title literally means The Spiriting Away of Sen and Chihiro.

Chingy: Ooookay, like that explains a lot?! And what is Sen and Chihiro?

Ringo: The story is about this 10-year old girl named Chihiro. She is deprived of her name Chihiro, and is given a new name, Sen , which literally means a thousand. In Japanese, Chi and Sen use the same Kanji. Therefore, Sen is actually a part of her name, Chihiro.

Chingy: I see. Let me add to Ringo’s point. This little girl Chihiro, she is moving to another town, and wanders into a strange town with her parents. To survive, she has to work at the bathhouse ABURAYA, which is ruled by Yu-baaba the witch.

Ringo: This is one of my favorite movies too. I have seen many reviews on this movie and all rated it A plus, or 9 out of 10.

Chingy: And how much do you rate it?

Ringo: Eleven.

Chingy: Alright. Don’t listen to her okay. She rates every movie eleven out of ten.

Ringo: You know what I like about this movie?

Chingy: The way Chihiro speaks?

Ringo: Nooooo. I like it because all Miyazaki’s animations are very different from other animations, like Sailormoon, and Dragon Ball.

Chingy: How so?

Ringo: You see, all other animation has two very clear sides, which are the good people and the bad people. It’s like black and white. But in Miyazaki’s film, everybody is grey. There’s no line between good and evil. The good could be evil, and the evil could be good too.

Chingy: That’s erm.. confusing?! Hehe, But I actually get what you mean. Like in others animations, there are always heroes and villains. And the heroes always defeat the villains in the end. Therefore I think Spirited Away is a very fantasy-based, yet realistic animation.

Ringo: That’s right. The whole movie is absolutely fantastic. Tell you a secret, I actually cried when I saw the movie.

Chingy: Awwww you did?

Ringo: Yeah, the soundtrack is super touching.

Chingy: In that case, why not we just listen to it again

Ringo: Good idea!

(Plays “Shiroi Ryu”)

Ringo: That’s the Spirited Away theme song, “Shiroi Ryu”, literally means, The White Dragon.

Chingy: So we’ve talked about the Disney, the Pixar, and the Oscar Winning Japanese Animation, Spirited Away. But that’s only our own opinion. Why not we listen to some movie enthusiast’s point of view, regarding animation?

Ringo: Yea, we’ve interviewed an animation junkie, Miss Pyo, whose name coincidentally means SOMETHING in animation terms too. Let’s find out what she’s got to say about animation.

(Plays “interview”)

Chingy: And that brings our program today to an end.

Ringo: Before we end, Chingy, let’s give us a clue what we’re gonna do next week.

Chingy: Ookay, only one clue!

Ringo: Go on.

Chingy: Mozzarella and Roses and candle lit dinner.

Ringo: Wwwwhat???

Chingy: Cheesy Romance!

Ringo: Oookay, you made your point.

Chingy: To bring this to a romantic end, we have a final song dedicated to you, “Tale as old as time” by Celine Dion.

Ringo:So prepared for a lovey dovey, easy cheesy time with us next week, same time!

Chingy: This is Cheese fm, I’m Chingy.

Ringo: And I’m Ringo.

Chingy and Ringo: Have a nice day.

(Plays “Tales as old as time”.)


P/S: This is the ACTUAL script. No form of manipulation of word is used for blogging purpose.

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