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January 20, 2006

Are You Cheesily-Challenged?

In conjuction with the American National Cheese Day, the Board of Ringoism has released a public announcement.

Dear all Potential Ringoists and Ringoist wannabes:

The Board of Ringoism has launched a new set of exams specially designed for potential Ringoists.

Any one who is interested shall partake in these tests to gain the possibility of Cheesipleship. The Board of Ringoism demands the Cheese de la Cheese---nothing but the cheesiest.

First of all, the board of Ringoism Committee would like to evaluate your general Cheesability with the following three personalicheese tests .

  • What Cheese Are You 1

  • What Cheese Are You 2

  • What Cheese Are You 3

  • You MUST complete all three tests, and those tests shall display an identical result. Shall you attain differing results from the tests, we’re very sorry but we don’t accept cheezophrenic Cheesiples, unless under very extreme and rare situations.

    If you are proven to be a cheese of impeccable pedigree, congratulations. You can now proceed to the subsequent tests. These next tests shall evaluate your innate cheesiness and whether you are truely worthy enough to be a Ringoist.

    In order to become a qualified Ringoist and gain minimum Cheesipleship, it is required that you at least pass Level 3 exam.

  • Level 1

  • (If you fail this, you are Cheesily-challenged without a doubt. To demonstrate our sympathy towards your uncheesability, we would be happy to write a letter of recommendation for you expressing your interest in joining the Jammist Asylum.)

  • Level 2

  • (We highly doubt your Cheesability if you fail this, sorry to say. We would like to recommend you to go bang your head against Parmesan block. That should help.)

  • Level 3

  • (You are just so close from being an Uncheesable to a qualified Ringoist! Cheese harder next time. If you pass this exam, congrats, welcome to the Cheesedom.)

  • Level 4

  • (This is an optional exam. Pass this and you will be automacheesically promoted as a Ringoistic Committee to serve the Board of Ringoism. Well, if you score perfect for this, the O’wise Ringoism Guru shall resign. Cheesallujah.)

    Those who are found to be dirty cheating cheesers shall be executed by order of the Lord of Ringoism. The Ringoistic Hair Samurai shall perform due punishment to those found cheating, depending on its severity.

    Yours Cheesily,

    The Lord of The Ringoism
    ***== I came, I saw, I cheesed ==***

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