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I came, I saw, I cheesed

January 11, 2006

CNY vs Xmas

Holy Cream.

I’m gonna ground myself at home and stop shopping for one bloody whole month.


Wherever I go, I will freaking hear those tong-tong-chiang Chinese New Year songs! *slaps face emo*

Okay I have to admit this. I actually kinda hate don't like Chinese New Year. My fav season is Xmas. Cheesallujah.

And before you accuse me of being an unappreciative, root-forgetting, banana-wannabe Chinese, and for god’s sake I’m not even a Christian, wait. a. sec.

First of all yes I’m not a Christian.

RINGOISM!! Remember?! Duh. But Anycheese, I’ve yet to come up with something festive enough to be celebrated annually, cuz Ringoists celebrate cheese day 354 days a year.

Eh, what bout the rest of the days? You ask.

Well, since it is REST of the days, then we mai REST lor.

*avoids your furious stares*

No la, just kidding. Ok lemmi explain. There are 10 Cheese-free days, namely the Ringoistic Sabbatical.

Why the *bleep* do we need to be cheeseless when we’re so very muchy into cheese?! You ask, furious again.

Uhm… Well… People get sick, PMS, headache, pain in the ass… etc. Don’t you just love excuses? So chill yea. =)

Oh I cheese. What about another one day? Got one more day right? You ask again.

That is also a Cheese-free day, as we pay respect to the Jammist by fasting (cheese) for a day. We’re against Jammism, but we are not barbarians. Let’s pray and hope they learn something from us. Peace.

I mean, Cheese. =)

Ok. OT too much. Anycheese, let’s get back to CNY and Xmas.

You see, I hate CNY and I love Xmas because:

1. CNY is freaking hot! (unless you are in Mongolia) Don’t you feel the heat coming already? The heat that can grill you into a piece of chao-da Ba Gua. Okay maybe not yet cuz it’s been raining like mad these few days.

2. I don’t like CNY food. I dun like mandarins I dun like Nian Gao (because I have realized eating Nian gao wont make me grow taller, you freaking liar!) and those cookies make me fat. But Xmas!! Mos Burger Taipei came out with the nicest seafood rice burger Xmas combo in the entire galaxy, and there’s this Cranberry-Turkey-Walnut-Brie-Cheese Xmas Special from O’briens, yummy yummy.

3. I prefer green to red. The red CNY deco is an eyesore. Haven’t the doc told you to look at more green things instead of red? Good for eyes!

4. You get to wear angel’s wings to party on Xmas. What?! Tell me you freaking wanna dress up like Choi San Ye (the Money God) to ZOUK!!

5. During Xmas, you get to watch cheesy romance like Love Actually, which actually, is so cheesily romantic. Or do you prefer watching honkie CNY crap like, err, what’s-the-title flick…something Bra, or say, Drink Drank Drunk, WTF. And it rhymes. LOL.

6. Last but not least! Freaking annoying CNY songs!!!! Grrrrrr… They are just plain noisy and annoying can? Especially those sung by local kiddy singers, what Do-Re-Mi, Little Angels, Little Sweetie, Little Princess, Little Whatever la. Cheesus Crust, go eat your lolipop or candy bar, gimme a break!! But the most ultimately ridiculous CNY joke has to be this local female artist called Long Piao Piao, who launches her albums every year only during CNY, for god damned dunno how many decades, and sings those freaking tong tong chiangs that all sound the same!!! Come on, get a life! Go do a pedicure or something instead of torturing my ear drums. Duh!

7. Ok laugh at me now because Hayley also just launched her new album during Xmas. But it’s different! You would never get fed up with an angel’s voice. Besides, she’s like 30 years younger than Long Piao Piao. =)

Fine, you’ve made your point. But what about Ang Pow? Don’t tell me you hate it too? You ask.

No I don’t. BUT. It doesn’t make me dislike CNY any less. Of course it’s good to get ang pow la, provided you always get a RM100 note(s) in every one of them. Mom doesn’t give me ang pow (I will give her =P ), all my grandparents are above singing and playing harps with the angels now, too busy to give me ang pow. =(

Other relatives leh? You ask.

Oh you mean my Secondary-Girl-School-Vice-Headmistress-cum-Guru-Discipline aunty who is currently undergoing her menopause and happily single? Nah... you wouldn’t want to remind her of ang pow man, trust me.

…………………… You ask.

Eh? Silent?

Nevermind la, at least Fatt Choi Hon Bou Bao (Mc Prosperity) is nice, isn’t it? =D

BTW for the Ringoism festive season thing hor, how bout an annual fondue gathering with lotsa parmesan confetti and stuff?


Okay nevermind! Just a suggestion oni. *Shrugs*

Happy CNY!!

Ok, in advance.

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