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I came, I saw, I cheesed

March 05, 2006

The reason why my typing sucks

Stop complaining why i type so slow and that I complain that you type so slow.

Because I have the reason to and you don’t.

Everybody has the ability to type unless you are fingerless. If I were you, I will knock myself with a 3-pounds edam on my head when I see the way Cheesie types.

Because, Cheesie is typingly-challenged.

Not that I am dyslexic or having fingeretardation. Simply because, my nails are long. Like, freaking long.

So why do I keep such long nails?

Answer A: So that I don’t need to waste money buying nail extensions. They are EXPENSIVE!

Answer B: It’s my secret weapon (Oh well, since I revealed it, no longer a secret then) against all kind of enemies. Having them, I don’t need to spend half a minute fumbling in my multi-pocketed handbag to find that stinkacheese spray. So dun pray pray ya!

Answer C: So that I can show people that I am talented. *smug* When my potential employer asks: (Skip this, you banana, go take up some mandarin course)

“你有什么专长?”

Then I can answer

“啊我有两项专长---我的头发和指甲特别长”

Answer D: Long nails are beautiful. Ask Ayumi Hamasaki!

Show you some pictures ok. These are all MY nails! =D








Oh yes, my nails are THAT long.

And in case you are wondering, they are REAL, for cheese's cake.

Manicurists fear me because they said I waste their nail polish. And time. Too bad they don’t have a policy like saloons where they can charge higher for longer hair.







Now you are curious. "So Cheesie, how exactly do you type?" You ask.

“I use my knuckles to type la” is often the answer you will get from me.

But knuckle reminds me of that crispy German pork thingie. I don’t want to be associated with a PIG!!!

>_<

Anycheese. There are several ways I type. I alternate between methods so that some particular muscles of my fingers won’t get too stressed.


Type (no pun intended) A—The finger-tip typing



It is comfortable. But that is also the reason why you always see me type“I’m crazy abou tit” and “I love salad with salmons lice” . Also, the “tit u bust” joke.

Type B—The nail typing



Trust me. It HURTS!!!! >_<

Type C—The infamous pork knuckle



This is okay. But that is also why you always laugh at my:

“I went to see the dentish today”
“sorry denist”
“densit”
“dentits”
“dentist!!! Fukkacino!!”


=_=

Type D—The latest typing aid for unfortunate typingly-challenged person (you can use anything really)


This one is most accurate. My favorite typing aid is my thin lip gloss stick (as above pic). But once again, that’s the reason why you see “Cheesie is writing a message” at the bottom of your MSN window but nothing comes out after one minute.


Now that I have debunked most of my typing myths, you have one final question to ask.

“Your nails are so beautiful (insert whatever compliment that pleases me, remember you are asking a favor ok.! May I know how do you keep them so long?”

*smug*

My secret is……




I don’t cut them.

Muahahahaha.

But I’m serious. They just, grow. Like hair. Your hair won’t suddenly just break into half will it? Something’s wrong with your nails. Go consult your manicurist.

If that answer doesn’t quite satisfy you, later I will go take a picture of the content of my fridge then you might understand how my daily calcium intake contributes to such strong nails.

=)

9 people cheesed:

  • At 3/06/2006 02:59:00 AM, Anonymous oldbearson said…

    haha .. great post!! Must have taken you long to type it out..

    Long nails make me queasy.. super afraid they'll break or something. Nail Survival Guides are helpful .. =)

     
  • At 3/06/2006 04:01:00 PM, Blogger Reon said…

    I suggest you to go buy expensive voice-recognition software for your input-sake. Keeping those long nails are not helping at all, not in any sense. Yeah, maybe it's a girl's nature to keep her nails/hairs long so there's a feminine aura around her (or whatever). But hey, you can do many styles with your hair, or even tie them up so it won't block your eye-sight. But nails?? The longer they are, the more maintenance works you need to spend your time (minus the very little you have, from slow typing some more) on it so it won't have cockroach eggs.

    There's one benefit I can think of it. It gives you lesser works to look like a ancient Chinese vampire, aka KiongSi.

    Oh yah, I typed this quite slow too, but it'still faster than you at least. LOL.

     
  • At 3/06/2006 07:39:00 PM, Blogger Kenny Sia said…

    Question.

    HOW THE CHEESE DO YOU DIG YOUR NOSE?

     
  • At 3/06/2006 08:15:00 PM, Anonymous Monkey God said…

    Hmmm ... I wonder if nails of that length and shape would play any part in impeding your ... err ... hand skills in the room, if ya know what I mean.

    Unless of course, the man you're "shaking hands" with is a sado. Then of course, nails like yours would be the reason why he's going out with you in the first place. *wink*

    Very interesting posts on this blog, although some are abit cheesy (no pun intended).

     
  • At 3/06/2006 08:19:00 PM, Blogger Porkie said…

    Your typng speed isn't that bad, still fast than a lot of people who have short nails!!

    As far as someone saying you shouldn't keep long nails is concerned.. someone got no idea of fashion :oP The fact that Princess can have long nails that are strong is great because I'm sure there are countless girls who'd love to have those kinda nails!!

     
  • At 3/06/2006 10:37:00 PM, Blogger cheesie said…

    oldbearson: thanx for all the useful links! =)

    reon:i am broke wor. cant afford voice-recog softie la. How how how? *hints desperately*

    kenny:liddat oni shiok ma. lol.

    monkeygod: thanx for dropping by =)

    porkie: i think im gonna cut them once one breaks. =( Ringoism rule.

     
  • At 3/06/2006 10:56:00 PM, Blogger Porkie said…

    Yah I know.. you did that last time. Think it was the day before I arrived right? But your nails grow pretty fast mah :o) Looking forward to seeing your latest nail arts when I'm back ;o)

     
  • At 3/06/2006 10:59:00 PM, Blogger funnycheese said…

    other than playing with keyboard...
    can also use ur long nail to play guitar...and good for opening can too.

    typing slow? who care? it's not like someone is really in a rush going somewhere, unless they really are...nobody is at here is on quick typing competition anyway.......R they? I hope not...hehe

     
  • At 3/07/2006 12:58:00 AM, Blogger Reon said…

    Your fingers are meant for works, not decorations. Just try once with short nails. I bet you can type as freely as you wish. =)

     

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